When my friend Mia set me up with Eric, he seemed like a dream — flowers, a thoughtful keychain gift, and charming conversation during dinner. He insisted on paying, calling it the “gentlemanly thing to do.” I left the date feeling hopeful. But the next morning, I got a shocking text: an itemized invoice for the date.

Eric had listed the cost of the flowers, the gift, and even his chivalry — each “service” paired with expected “payment” like a selfie, a compliment, or a second date. At the bottom, he warned that non-payment might result in him telling our mutual friend Chris.

Appalled, I sent the invoice to Mia, who showed Chris. He was furious — and hilarious. Chris whipped up a mock invoice in return, charging Eric for “introducing him to a gorgeous woman” and “letting him sit at her table.” The final line: “Failure to comply may result in public humiliation.”

Eric’s angry texts followed, but I just sent a thumbs-up and blocked him. Lesson learned: if a man insists on paying, make sure you don’t get billed for it later. (And yes, I kept the keychain — as a souvenir from the weirdest date ever.)